now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
