it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
