I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize