i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
