So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
