Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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