I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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