U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
