Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
