So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
