Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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