I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
