it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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