My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
