Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
