im about as happy as oj after his trial
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
