But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
