So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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