STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
