Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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