Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Screwed.edu
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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