I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
