I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
