i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
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