So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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