I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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