it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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