i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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