Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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