what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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