you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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