we should wear snuggies to the strip club
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize