Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
