He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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