ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
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