I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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