I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
