Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
