He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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