matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize