dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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