Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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