i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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