sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
