I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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