Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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