Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
