Please don't use social media to get back at me.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
