I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
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In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
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Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
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