i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
