Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
