She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize