I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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