Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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