kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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