WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
