i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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