So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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