walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
