I accidentally burped into my bong.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
