Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think your dad took our porno
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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