I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
