At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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