i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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