I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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