Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
