I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
