yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
