I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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